Lost and Found

Authors

  • Bridget Boland

Abstract

“Lost and Found” explores themes related to miscarriage and the loss of a pregnancy. My husband and I were elated when I became pregnant quickly and easily. That elation turned to despair when I woke on April Fools’ Day to what felt like a cruel joke: I was bleeding at ten-weeks gestation. A sonogram confirmed that the fetus had no heartbeat. I went home and miscarried naturally, without having a dilation and curettage (D&C). We had shared our happy news with family and some friends. Reactions to the miscarriage ranged from helpful support to trite assurances that we could try again. One friend sent a packet of seeds to plant in memory of the baby we’d lost. My mother-in-law, a writer, suggested I see the pregnancy I’d lost as a throwaway “first draft.” Overcome with grief, I first used food to numb my pain. Healing finally came from an encounter with another pregnant mother who had also been through several miscarriages. Her support and shared experience allowed me the opportunity to work through my grief. I turned to tools I’d learned from my yoga practice and my therapist. I created a safe space in which to express my feelings as I hit a pillow with a tennis racket. This somatic expression allowed me to process my emotions instead of sugarcoating them. Despite the pain of my miscarriage, our story had a happy ending when I conceived again, and later gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Author Biography

Bridget Boland

Bridget Boland’s work has appeared in The New Guard, Conde Nast Women’s Sports and Fitness, YogaChicago, and The Essential Chicago. Her debut novel, The Doula, was published by Simon and Schuster September, 2012. Excerpts from her work have won the Writers League of Texas Memoir Prize, and the Surrey Writers Conference Nonfiction Award. Through her business Modern Muse, Ms. Boland teaches writing classes on fiction and memoir, coaches other writers in creative nonfiction, fiction and business writing, and offers seminars on yoga, energetic medicine, and writing as life process tools. She holds an MFA in creative writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, a JD from Loyola University of Chicago, and is the recipient of five residencies at The Ragdale Foundation for Writers and Artists and a grant from the Illinois Arts Council. She is also a shaman and an attorney. Learn more about Bridget and her work at www.bridgetboland.com.

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How to Cite

Boland, B. (2018). Lost and Found. Journal of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement, 9(2). Retrieved from https://jarm3.journals.yorku.ca/index.php/jarm/article/view/40514